Synergistic Life

NaPoWriMo Day 2: Stillness

In the shadows we emerge

Revealing truth

Naked before our love we are

Ourselves

More

Ourselves

Than

We were under the blinding lights

Of the false truth of love past

Your reflection of me

Every hidden secret of my soul

Bruised yet healing with each touch

We’ve discovered an ever flowing well of mercy in each other’s eyes

Amen.

NaPoWriMo Day 1: Under The Sun

We’ve felt this before

How do we channel the rage?

Stay low. Keep fighting.

Lessons from My 20s Vol. 1: Honor and Protect Your Femininity

This week I will celebrate my 30^th birthday with the warmth and love of many people!  Several of them have inquired about how I feel walking into a new decade of life!  I can honestly say, from the depths of my heart, that I couldn’t be more grateful than I am right now.  This gratefulness is the result of countless nights of reflection about my 20s, the darkness that occasionally marred my days and the unbearably bright light that accompanied most of those years.  It’s in that space that I want to focus my writing over the next week. 

                I believe that our lessons are meant to be shared with others in order to encourage the positive growth in everyone.  Hoarding our epiphanies does nothing to increase beauty in our world.  It actually perpetuates selfishness and takes away from our purpose on earth.  We are destined to fulfill our greatness when we’re born and part of that is learning and sharing without fear.   Therefore, I will be sharing the five most impactful lessons I learned in the past decade of my life                                                                           

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

                There are countless reasons why I appreciate being a woman.  I love our gait.  We can glide into a room and change the energy simply by walking.  We bear children and navigate creating a home for our families.  We support each other and can communicate our worst fears with a simple glance. 

Women know what other women know.            

               It is our intuition, our God-given ability to sense whether or not a situation is positive for us and make an informed decision.  We are strong, capable of absorbing the stories that we inevitably bare witness to, it’s the plight of a nurturing spirit.  If you think the world is tough now, incapable of showing its humanity, try living it without any feminine energy.

                In my 20s I mistakenly considered my femininity to be directly tied to my body.  An early bloomer, I’ve known for years that there is power in my curves.  As a third grader, I remember being chastised for wearing a real bra, not a trainer.  All the boys knew from the moment we were separated by gender to have the “talk” that I was far ahead of the other girls.  At 9 it was uncomfortable.  By 13, I discovered that the right outfit, that accentuated the right parts, could garner a great deal of attention.

                By 21, I was a Molotov cocktail of self-consciousness, neediness, and a DD cup bra.  The attention I would get from flirting with a man was a drug to me. This is where being raised in a household that never referenced sex became a small blessing.  I was too fearful to be wildly promiscuous.  However, I was just needy enough to fall in love way too easily and have my heartbroken too fast.  You see the body that got people’s attention, is the same one that contained a heart that simply wanted to be appreciated and loved.  It simply wanted to have a man wrap his arms around it and appreciate the sum whole of its parts, the woman.   

                My work with teenage girls has been my saving grace.  Interceding when I see a skirt that’s too short, a “friendship” that is going to too far, too fast, or even looking them in the eyes and reminding them of their power reminds me each day of my own.  It helps me to reel in the need for attention and affection and evaluate the worthiness of the recipient. 

                This body is a powerful conduit for all the facets of femininity I mentioned above.   My feet have walked little girls home to make sure they are protected.  My legs will part one day to invite my husband in as we decide to create a child from our loving union.  My hips will widen as I age, the better to hold my little one as I make meals that nourish our family.  My breasts will swell with milk.  My arms will hold every person I encounter that needs a feminine touch to make it through their day.  My smile will continue to ease the nerves and calm the fears of the children I teach; they will know they are safe.   My eyes will communicate my feelings to my dearest girlfriends, although they will always know, they always do.  My hands will exchange a mutual acknowledgement with thousands as I spread the mission of Guidepost throughout the country and still be soft enough to rub the back of my future husband as he shares his thoughts at night. In my 30s and beyond, I will step fully into the magnificent power of my womanhood and as it is with all of us, the world will be greater for it. 

Shine bright my loves,

Cassandra J

Guidepost Education Solutions: An Introduction

Education is the key to unlocking the door that will eradicate poverty.  - Desmond Tutu

As a teacher I found an outlet for everything that mattered to me most: education, creativity, helping the community, empowerment, and building relationships.  The five years I spent in the classroom were the most challenging and eye-opening of my career.

Although I loved my daily work with my students, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to do more!  I by no means think that teaching is meaningless however, I felt that more students and families needed access to the high quality education we supplied about our school.  Thus, the birth of Guidepost Education Solutions.

I believe that the generational poverty that plagues each community I’ve worked within can be eliminated by empowering the whole family unit, however that is configured, through education.  GES will redefine how we reach to our families and provide a curriculum that not only educates a child, but includes parents and connects families to other organizations that can meet their most pressing needs.  However, this will not be limited to charter management.  In order to see sustainable change in our communities we have to tackle the problem from many angles: public school reform, charter management, and high quality curriculum.

Our mission is to transform communities and end generational poverty with family-centered education reform efforts that connect people, resources, and opportunities for prosperity.   We will do  this through our wholehearted commitment to the following core values:

Compassion – We believe in the importance of helping others with empathy and respect.

Equality – We believe that everyone deserves a quality education and access to opportunities that will lead to a prosperous life.

Innovation – We are committed to discovering new ways create sustainable change in our communities.

Knowledge – We will believe that education can empower people and transform lives.

I am asking you to join us in our efforts to heal our communities.  Everyone is not meant to be an educator in the classroom however, we can all share the mission and believe in the vision!  Connect with us on social media to see how we are growing in the future!  I look forward to bringing our mission to you in our official launch this May!

Shine brightly!

Cassandra!

See what we’re about here:

Follow us on twitter: @GuidepostEDS

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GuidepostED

Email our CEO: cjones@guideposteducation.com

Lessons, Peace, and Acceptance

I’ve  struggled to write this for a week.   Tonight, after I deleted the entire page for the fourth time I heard a small voice and it said:

Stop trying so hard and just say what’s on your heart.

And so…here you are…

I’ve spent a great deal of my life tied to past that was as painful as it was undeniably beautiful.  I’ve searched in a million places for love and acceptance, a place to belong, wondering if there would ever be a time in which I could be myself and be loved for just simply being. I’ve learned that no one else can give you that type of peace.  We are divinely led to it through others but not because of others.  In the end we are responsible for doing the hard work to get to a place of true self-acceptance.

The last couple of years threw me for a loop, never a stranger to the ups and downs of life; I can honestly say that the roller coaster of last year almost brought me to my knees.  Lately, I’ve been amazingly at peace and as life continues to vacillate between positive and negative only three things remain:

1. A newly discovered commitment to spiritual practice.
2. A new sense of peace that no matter what I’m faced with, I will be okay.
3. A fierce determination to love myself with everything I’ve got and demand the same from anyone else that wants to be in my life.

Identity is a mind-boggling concept.  We search our whole lives, taking bits and pieces from our experiences and patching them together to create ourselves.  We wait for a moment when we’ve reached a satisfactory level of perfection to be happy when the beautifully ugly truth is that that time will never come.

If we wait on the day when our lives are perfect we will be waiting forever.  There will always be a missing piece, an imperfection, a feature we want to change, or a relationship we seek.  This is what I’ve learned:  life is about learning through divinely placed experiences what was planned for you anyway when God decided to give you life. If we trust that there is something else at play here, a divine power that is guiding you through this life to your ultimate destination we wouldn’t worry so much about what it looks like right now.  Once we grasp that concept the doors open to all of the things we’ve been seeking the entire time.

I don’t pretend to know it all but what I know for sure is that from this point on in my life I’m going to trust in the following things: Life has nothing but the best to offer me if I believe that I deserve it and with a consistent and nurtured relationship with God everything is possible.

So I’m offering this to you with a grateful heart.  Know that from a place of pain and adversity true and genuine love can be born and wherever you are is exactly where you are supposed to be.  It’s all beautiful.  It’s all necessary.  It’s all divine.

Be blessed beyond measure my loves,

Cassandra

100 Years of Solitude…or maybe just a day…

I’m not a peaceful person. I want it. I seek it. However, I wake up most days with a running list of tasks that must be completed. Action items I need to handle at work or emails I need to respond to by the close of business. I am intense and when I have a goal I work until there is nothing left of me.

Saturday I woke up with a swollen, aching face and my normal list of action items. For once, I was forced to not think about work but to focus on myself. I did, for two entire days. I watched movies, I read, I listened to music, and I didn’t move from my bed because I didn’t want to. I haven’t had that kind of time in months. Until this morning, a new type of antibiotic has me feeling better and the super-sized ibuprofen the doctor prescribed has reduced the swelling. I woke up ready to race to work.

A very small voice told me to get back in bed and spend some time thanking God for the fact that I’m feeling better and that I had the means to go to a doctor. This is a common theme in my life so far: I chase after the wrong relationships. All the things I’m racing to do and to get to, this “ideal” Cassandra with three degrees, a national platform to share ideas about social change, a fine husband, a loving family, two kids, and less than 10% body fat is what keeps me up at night and all day working, worrying, and in a constant state of fear. What if it never works out? What if I work my entire life and never get there?

What I’ve been doing wrong is putting my attention on the wrong thing. The “ideal” is simply a manifestation of what
God has already planned for me. I can’t side step a relationship with God and get to what I’ve been promised. In
the hour I spent this morning in prayer and meditation I did more to move my life ahead in the right direction than I
could in another 11-hour workday.  It’s a daily choice for me to put my relationship with God above everything else. Time to talk, to tune into the plan, to connect with a higher power on a level I haven’t before because I’ve been too busy running. On the days I don’t do this I can feel the difference. I feel like I’m just trudging through instead of feeling joyus and content.

All I’m offering to you is this: Whatever your chosen faith, it takes a form of discipline to really get the most out of
it. It takes consistently referencing that text or practice on a daily basis. We put so much time into relationships,
work, goals, fun, and personal wants. What if we took a small portion of that time and put it into forming a bond
with a higher power. It’s a daily process and sometimes you have to be forced to stay at home in order to realize it but I’m certain of one thing…my time with God will never return void.

Shine bright loves,
Cassandra

The Importance of Intimacy

When was the last time you were touched?

I mean deeply moved by an act of kindness, brushed against rudely while someone rushed past you, reminded of your beauty by a kind word, or even kissed with intention?   The necessary type of contact that reminds you, whether it was in a positive or negative way, that you are alive.

In several conversations with friends lately I’ve found a common thread:  we’ve allowed hurt and anger to keep us from genuinely connecting with another person in any form.  It’s completely possible to be so busy trying to keep yourself from being hurt that you miss the opportunity to connect.

I am not willing to miss those connections any longer.

A dear friend of mine recently suggested that I read a book that takes you through assessing the quality of your relationships for 40 days.

I wasn’t ready.

I smile a lot.  I strike up conversation with ease.  I am friendly.  Although these are wonderful qualities I find that most of the people that know me, really don’t know me.  I’m speaking of an intimate knowledge of how I tick, what wakes me up in the morning, my biggest fear.

This is intentional.

The less people know you, the more you block them from learning who you are, the fewer your chances of being hurt.  Until my late 20s that was my theory.  The only issue is that, as with everyone, I want to be vulnerable with someone and when I am while holding on to this fear, I create a space in which love is a constant negotiation of position versus a free and growing being.    It’s all come to a head right now as I approach 30.  I am at a beautiful crossroads at which I can actively decide how I will love and be loved in the next decade of my life.

The funny thing about  hurt is that once you’ve experienced it it will never be that bad again.  You’ve seen your ability to turn love into a weapon to avenge your hurt feelings.  You’ve experienced a wound that you never thought would heal.  At this point, there is no reason to fear the possibility of it.  Pain is pain and the risk of it is always present but if we run from opening up to someone simply to keep from feeling it imagine what we’ll miss.  Intimacy is as dear to us as our own breath.  Without a deeper connection to anyone in the world we will lead cold and lonely lives.

I am making a commitment to myself to be open to the risk and to be totally present with the people that love me.  I will tell my friends I love them and allow them into my life in a more meaningful way.  I will be connected to my family on a daily basis.  I will share myself in a way I haven’t before without fear.

I hope you’ll share with me your experiences with intimacy both physical and emotional.  Let’s take a journey together shall we?

Shine bright,

Cassandra!

Girl on Guy podcast with Aisha Tyler

So I feel a certain kinship with Aisha Tyler.  She’s funny, curses like a sailor, she’s smart, and she’s wildly artistic and hot.  Now, I’m not saying that I share those characteristics but, if you know me, you can see it’s an easy leap.  Anyway, she has a brilliant podcast called Girl on Guy that is full of one-liners and awesome interviews!  My favorite so far is Questlove since you know…he’s my dreamboat.

Here’s the link to the archives!  Quest is on October 4th!  Listen and enjoy

http://www.girlonguy.net/girl_on_guy_with_aisha_tyler/Archive.html

A Reminder

It is only light

Sound in waves faster than you blink

Time that flies as the age’s progress

Black to salt and pepper to silver to thinning

One line begets two begets three

Black cracks slowly

And as it happens

Memories begin to turn into reminders

Of a certain space you wish to never again occupy

The voices of past hurts begin to blend

Cohesively with God’s – that is now a lesson

The lesson then is wisdom deeply absorbed

In the pores of the person that is open

To its touch on their skin

Resistance is the arch enemy of growth

Sword fighting and slap boxing

Each other into a mind numbingly still existence

There is only one choice for the one that wants

To be more:

To struggle through…in contemplation

In honest conversations

In painful tears during quiet moments alone

In mornings when the remembrance of their hand on your face

Is a real as the pain that echoes after they’ve departed from this earth

Hand over mouth

Feet in auto pilot

Work needs to be done

The earth moves on even though you wonder why it won’t stop

Long enough

For you to decipher the lesson in the maze of imperfect incidents

It trudges through…over…on…

And so you must as well

Knowing that one day

You will be in control of your feet again